ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
