I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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