genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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