i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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