She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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