we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
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