I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
