i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
