My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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