bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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