I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
She bit a glass in half.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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