We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
