chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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