Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
