Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
