why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
