oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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