Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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