so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
