But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
