I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
