I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
