I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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