its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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