Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
