I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
