So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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