Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
