Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
