my sisters under your porch take her home
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
