hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
from now on my penis is your penis
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
COCAINE IS GR8
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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