I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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