My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
