I wish I only lived at night.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
