So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
