HIV tests are more positive than that guy
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
