it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
