I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
