Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
