And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
