Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
