You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
