My friends, they love my intelligence
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
