My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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