I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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