is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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