That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm drive I can fine osifer
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
