I was born with a shot glass in my hand
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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