6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
