well you can't waste a boner
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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