I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
