Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Are we still banned from the library?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
