I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
