her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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