In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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