Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Life is so much better after having sex.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
