I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
